Yes more will be attracted to slim women. By the way, both my wife and I can easily code-switch between the dialect of our youth.īasically, I think WM are attracted to ALL kinds of bw. I personally don’t subscribe to this dialectic, but even if you do agree with it, the real distinction in WM/BW relationships is typically educational level, not the “whiteness” of her demeanor. Some within the black community will say that the mannerisms of an educated BW are somehow more “white” compared to stereotypical urban poor BW mannerisms.
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Thus, the biggest increase in WM/BW relationships in the past decade or two has been predominantly among college-educated individuals. WM on college campuses tend to be more open minded and creative in their relationship choices, and on campus they are encountering smart, attractive, open-minded BW. Increased minority collegiate enrollment has been largely female. In any relationship, educational level is probably one of the more significant determinative factors in choosing a long-term mate or partner. I have personally experienced and enjoyed many shades, from obsidian to café au lait, and many shapes, from Buffy the Body to Venus Williams.ģ. In fact, if there is any generalization I have seen among WM who are attracted to BW with respect to physical attributes, it is that white guys tend to prefer darker women over lighter ones. For this reason, we appreciate the beauty of Nia Long, Jill Marie Jones and/or Serena Williams as much or more than that of Halle Berry or other slender, light-skinned BW. WM in relationships with BW have come to see BW as beautiful. Men tend to be attracted first by physical beauty. Once this happens, racial stereotypes and preconceptions tend to diminish or disappear.Ģ. WM cannot enter into serious relationships with BW unless we have first learned to see black people as individuals. I think that your tendency to over-generalize racial issues, and especially racial issues having to do with notions of black female beauty, clouds your analysis on the issue of WM attracted to BW. I know many other WM attracted to and/or married to BW. I have been married to a BW for 13 years and, before my marriage, had a reasonable number of relationships with other BW. I agree with some of what you say and disagree with some. A university and post-graduate educated professional.
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White men are almost the opposite of that: they do not care so much about skin colour or hair - those who do apparently stick to white women - but they do care about the shape of the body and the features of the face. So it is not uncommon to see a white man with a dark-skinned black woman with natural hair - but she will be thin and not act “too black” - what white people in advertising call “acceptable blackness”.īoth black men and white men in America are affected by white ideas of female beauty, but they apply them to black women differently:īlack men apply it to skin colour (light) and hair (long and straight), but not so much to the shape of the body (still thick, though that seems to be changing). Hair, surprisingly, does not seem to matter that much. The features of her face can be black, but not too black. And in the general shape of her body - thin, maybe with large breasts, but not too big of a bottom. But the strange thing is they do not.Īnd yet they do prize whiteness in women, even in black women, but the whiteness they want is not as simple as skin colour. So you would think that among black women they would mainly go after light-skinned women. If you ask white men to name a beautiful black woman, most will name someone who is light-skinned, like Beyonce or Halle Berry.
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If any black women or white men want to add their own general observations that would be great. What follows are just some notes and observations made by me in New York. Yet most of those who do seem to go for a particular kind of black woman. Most white men do not go for black women and those who do are not all alike. The same is true for black men and white women, but that is another post. White American men seem to go for certain kinds of black women and not for others.